normal

The LEGO Perspective

In my mid 20’s I was kind of a jerk.

I was that “kid” who wanted a kid that thought, “Well when I have a kid…” and could name half a dozen reasons why I’d make it all look so easy.

So basically… the universe is laughing it’s ass off at me.

As it turns out kids don’t come with a manual the way my food processor did. In fact, the only thing in life i am ABSOLUTELY sure of is that when I think I have something figured out, THAT is the exact moment I’ve screwed up.

My son is eight. He is very perceptive and in touch with his feelings. We’re navigating the process of overcoming hurt feelings, being a good sport, identifying strengths and accepting weaknesses. And most importantly, taking responsibility for our actions. And with every one of those moments, I can’t help but pray I’m handling them right.

Parenting is no joke! On one hand, the mama bear in me wants to lunge toward anyone who looks at my kid funny. On the flip side, I recognize we’re approaching the part of life where character is built. I’m fully aware we have days ahead where someone will make a comment about his glasses, the gap in his teeth, or being picked last. I hope to raise a young man with compassion for others. I hope I use these moments to help him draw from these seemingly unimportant events to always be there for others.

I stepped on a lego tonight. Parents, you know that pain! For some reason, my mind went to my son with thoughts I didn’t expect. I didn’t have chosen words race through my mind. I had compassion. It was God’s funny little way of helping me keep perspective. We have so many amazing things ahead of us! Yet help us all not forget how small something can look on the outside yet feel so big to the one walking through it.

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I Have It Together-ish

I’m definetly over 30, single, a mom, and have it together-ish.

Every now and then a lady like myself will hear feedback sounding as if a potential suitor is saying, “Challenge accepted.”

So what IS the challenge for said man?

We expect too much from you.

And unapologetically. Unfortunately for this guy, he’s getting “interviewed” for multiple jobs unknowingly. I may enjoy your company but what actually matters is if you’re a good fit for my son and I… as a team. Do you see me standing next to him or in front of him? Can I count on you? Do we care enough to deal with each other during our “jerk” moments?

Like it or not, if I date you, I’m constantly asking myself if you’re father material. Not only for my child but any future children. All my exes live in Texas… and so do I. Can you navigate the waters with my ex? Only the strong survive.

You’ll need a suitcase for this baggage.

Naturally, I analyze everrrrrything. It’s how my brain works! Ask my boss. What is seemingly a straight forward situation will include me calculating every angle we could potentially be sued with followed by hypotheticals that will derail the entire conversation. I can’t help it. Throw in the last 15 years of my life and you’ll get a big ole’ helping of unwelcome nonsense from me that may manifest in silence or irrational conversation.

I’m tired.

I know the general population is tired these days. But I’m real tired of the games. I think kids had it right when they passed those simple notes asking for a “yes” or “no”. That’s where I’m at. Tired of the games. Tired of dating. Tired of wondering where I stand with people. Who in the world came up with the dating rule of waiting 3 days to call? If you wait 3 days, you’ll realize I already blocked you.

I do not have the time, patience, or energy to compete to be at the top of your list. I can’t date multiple people at once. I tried it once at the suggestion of a friend and it lasted about 48 hours. I find it gross and just a waste of time. I have laundry and stuff. Like… big girl things to do.

I used to joke about being the lady with a cat. But now I’m the lady with a cat who has his own Instagram. (@oliverflinn) Many of my friends are unhappily married. That sounds worse than being single! But why is this the case? Do we lose sight of why we fell in love? Do we over look the cup of coffee he brings us in the morning? Or the car that magically never needs an oil change? What about everything he misses out on to be the first one at the office and the last one to leave?

Let’s go back to the way our kids “play the game”. We all have a different job on the field. Don’t we all want to get to the finish line to see our teammate there to celebrate with us?

Thoughtful Thursday

 Have you ever considered the way your children view your commitment to your community? I do now more than ever. Let’s be honest, kids can be very egocentric developmentally. This isn’t a product of poor parenting or being spoiled. It’s life. 
I’m feeling a bigger sense of responsibility the more involved I become in community service projects. I’m not sure if it’s coming from volunteering just being in my life all of the time or my true self awareness to the world around me. Would the feeling go away if I stopped leading projects to better our community? The truth is that I don’t know. 

Normal Is a Setting On Your Washer.

Life is tough sometimes, y’all. 

Other times…I can’t even handle the indescribable beauty I’m graced with. What is difficult for me, could be easy for you. Having grace for one when they fall short is showing what you are capable of. 

At the end of each day a political race doesn’t matter. Your really shitty work day doesn’t matter. That jerk who cut you off in traffic….that also doesn’t matter. 

Comparing ourselves to the next family or the mom in the carpool lane who just seems to freaking have it all…. stop. I can assure you, it’s hurting you more than you think. 

Can you think about a time you thought you had it all? Perhaps it’s a wedding proposal, a pregnancy, a graduation, a career move. Whatever it is, I can imagine you felt thankful. Beautiful. Happy. Optimistic. Anything positive. 

Fast forward a few years. Do you still feel the same passion? I don’t mean “Oh yeah, I’m lucky… I know.” I mean real passion. 

When you thought you had it all, your passion became your normal. That is incredible. 

What humbles me the most is remembering that normal is a cycle on your washing machine. Life is a cycle. It can be delicate, heavy, normal. No matter what cycle you run it on, it must be handled with care. If we’re being real, life will give you the light load and the dark load. It’s even going to yield that ridiculous load you wash and then dry 3 times only to want to just start it over again in the washer 5 days later. 

And that is normal. Learn to love your normal.