changes

Thoughtful Thursday 

“Learn to be thankful for what you have while pursuing what you want.”

2017 has been a year full of change. I set out with the goal to be humble and grateful regardless of the many changes I have been adjusting to. Without a doubt, this year I have been more aware of the need to be vocal to those I appreciate. Overall, I’ve made a conscious effort to be grateful for the daily things that make life so great. 

Don’t forget to tell people how much you appreciate them. It takes just a moment but lift their spirits in a way you didn’t know they needed.


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A Letter to Myself: July Sucks

I know July will be a mixture of feelings you don’t quite understand. You may feel like you should be prepared. After all, you have 11 months to prepare and it’s been happening for the last 6 years. 

When his dad arrives to pick him up, you’ll be engulfed with a feeling of panic. That lump in your throat and pit in your stomach you seldom feel, it’ll be larger than life. 

You will feel sad. Hurt. Maybe angry at times. You’ll walk around his room just looking for tiny messes to pick up. The granola bar wrapper you find under his bed won’t upset you this time. You’ll wish he were around to exclaim, “Don’t pull the cats tail!” or “Go back and actually brush your teeth this time.”

You’ll have all the time in the world to sleep. That’s something you often dream of! Yet, it’ll be a struggle to shut your mind off because you’re wondering if he’s okay. Is he safe? Is he feeling loved? Where is he? Does he need you? Does he miss you? Save yourself the sleepless nights and know he loves you, he misses you, he’s having fun yet he needs you. Forever.

You may feel a little more free than usual. It will be fleeting, but you are allowed to feel that way. Don’t feel guilty. Isn’t it you that has always described being a parent as, “The hardest job you will ever love.” This also sounds familiar, “You never know what it means to say you’d literally die for someone until you’re a parent.” You deserve the break. After all, there’s only one of you and he is coming back. 

You know there are pros to this time of the year. He gets to spend uninterrupted time with his dad and your son deserves that. All children deserve to feel that their daddy sports a red cape just like their favorite superhero. You’ve done all you can to preserve that image for as long as he will believe it. You will have hit that reset button you reference. You’ll be the best version of yourself when you see him again and you both deserve that. 

Enjoy July. It’s not sad. It’s a time for both of you to renew the love of your everyday simple life together. 

Thoughtful Thursday

img_3834“Learn to be thankful for what you have while pursuing what you want.”

2017 has been a year full of change. I set out with the goal to be humble and grateful regardless of the many changes I have been adjusting to. Without a doubt, this year I have been more aware of the need to voice my appreciation for the amazing people around me. I’ve done my best to be aware of the opportunities I’ve been given. Overall, I’ve made a conscious effort to be grateful of the daily things that make life so great. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily hustle. Doesn’t it feel nice when someone takes a moment to give you a sincere thank you for just being yourself?

Here’s the truth. 

I’ve glanced back at my previous posts and they’ve been pretty sappy. I have read each of them 10 times (at least) to find perspective and I still get a little teary on a few of them. Reflection can be quite a roller coaster. 

The truth is that this is a form of therapy for me. A place to be honest. And the honest truth is that I’m going through a difficult season. 

My primary focus is my son. Making sure I make it to work everyday and look put together and smile is all the world should expect some days. Another truth is that accomplishing those simple things is truly my very best some days. 

The unraveling of a life you once thought would be shared with someone is painful. No matter who’s fault, the reasons why, or the amount of support you have will make the heartbreak seem like less of a failure.

And yes, it is that stressful and painful. 

The specifics do not matter. What does matter is that my son will pull through this. Anyone who knows him, knows I’m right. And I will make it through this just fine. In fact, I’ll be better. I’ll be better because this is one more life experience I’ll navigate only to help someone else through later. One less person to pass judgement on them. One more ear to listen. I’ll be one more hug they’ve been dying to feel.

I’m gradually accepting this new season. I’m finding the rainbow. I’m throwing myself into things that used to scare me yet I’ve had passion for. 

I’m typically not a mantra type of gal. But I keep having the same phrases race through my mind. BE HUMBLE. BE GRATEFUL. I promise, when you think the good in life has left you in the dark… someone else’s life is darker. Colder. Lonelier. Being humble and grateful can mean the difference of being in a rut and living your life in a valley.